Monkey Mayhem

This is a monkey divided. This is a monkey unfinished. This is my nightmare.
So, when I started knitting two years ago, the only thing David wanted me to make for him was a sock monkey. No scarves, no hats, no sweaters. Just a monkey. Here we are, two years later, and still no monkey. I promised to make one for his birthday, which was last week. And I've been working on it, but now I have to finish it. All of the pieces above must be assembled, sewn together, and stuffed.

Two nights ago, I had a horrible, horrible dream. I was a student in an English class. The weekend assignment (given Friday afternoon, due Monday morning) was to knit a sock monkey and then make a movie featuring the sock monkey. I was the only knitter in my class, and I knew this sounded impossible. But I tried. When I got to class Monday, we were in a large auditorium. I sat with monkey pieces in my lap, trying to figure out just how to make it look like a monkey before my turn. Meanwhile, other students gave their presentations. Their monkeys were perfect. Their monkeys starred in grand adventures, artsy films, and documentaries that looked both professional and labor-intensive. One film featured a monkey made out of exactly the same yarn I was using. Growing more anxious and not knowing when my name would be called, I tried to piece my monkey together with safety pins, bits of yarn (no tapestry needle here), and whatever else I could find. Did I mention I was the only knitter in that class? And what kind of fucked up assignment was this, anyway? This was an English class, damnit! I woke up before my name was called.

David says that the dream was my overriding guilt trying to get a message into my insensitive, lazy, monkey-hating, thick skull. I mean, how could I possibly even think to start a new project (which I did, on Thursday night) when his birthday monkey lay in pieces. (Yes, his birthday was LAST WEEK!!!) I say I'm just stressed out by work and that stress is carrying over even to my knitting.

(Thanks to David for helping me type this. Some of the wording - the best "wording" - may not be mine.)